In the movies, Dracula wears a cape,
and some old English guy always manages to save the day
at the last minute with crosses and holy water.
But everybody knows the movies are full of shit.
The truth is it stated with Blade, and it ended with him.
The rest of us were just along for the ride.
What's this chicken scratch?
It's cuneiform.
It's about 4,000 years old.
So why here?
Because this is the cradle of civilization.
He would've been comfortable here.
I don't know, Dan. This seems like another dead end.
There's something beneath us.
You find a watch?
Is it a body?
Guys?
Aah!
Go! Aah!
What the fuck?!
Aah!
Tonight, Dr. Edgar Vance, forensic psychiatrist
and author of the New York Times bestseller Human Health.
The Whole Being Breakthrough.
Also with us, Martin Vreede, Chief of Police.
They'll be here for the next hour, and they'll be taking your calls,
next on Bently Tittle Live.
Okay, Dr. Vance.
You are a psychiatrist and a biochemist. Isn't that true?
Yes, Bently. I am both.
And it's for a reason.
I have always believed that true health can only be achieved
if we reconcile the body and the mind.
And of course, in order to do that,
we have to get rid of a lot of old notions.
Okay. And... how's that fit in with vampires?
In the case of vampires, we're dealing with creatures that, uh,
are the repositories of some of our most taboo thoughts.
- Okay. - Predatory rage.
- Yeah. - Sexual sadism.
- Sexual? - Sexual sadism.
These are very scary subjects for people to own up to,
and they're right inside.
So what you're saying is we pass the buck onto someone else.
- You bet we do. - And vampires?
Well, for instance, there's a hereditary blood disease.
I talk about it in my book. It's called porphyria.
And the symptoms of this disease
are remarkably similar to classic vampire traits.
The people who suffer from this disease are anemic,
they become intolerant to sunlight, they can't handle garlic...
Garlic? Chief Vreede. Okay.
What's your take on all these rumors we've been hearing about vampires?
Vampires, vampires. What?
The only vampires I'm worried about are the ones passing the bar exam.
Seriously, though.
If vampires existed, don't you think we would've found them by now?
The truth is our streets have never been safer.
Homicide, assaults, violent crime is down across the board.
If people want to be concerned,
they should focus in on characters like this Blade criminal.
Now, that's the guy I wanna hear about.
I wanna hear about this character Blade. What about him?
He's a sociopath that we've been pursuing.
Blade is a troubled individual.
I understand that he is under the impression
that there is a vast conspiracy of vampires.
Now, you've got to look at the psychiatric underpinnings
of a belief like that.
Odds are he believes that he is out there slaying monsters.
- But what he's really doing... - Mm-hmm.
...is trying to kill aspects of himself.
Aah!
Ah!
Aah!
I'm on the Stonebridge overpass.
Got it. Heading westbound.
I'm just beneath ya.
Go!
Aah!
Come on!
I got him. Pull!
You all right, man?
He's got a gun!
Oh, my God!
Ouch.
Staked you with silver.
Why aren't you ash?
Why aren't you smarter?
Not a vampire, dumb shit!
Set your sorry ass up.
Damn.
Oh, Blade.
What the fuck happen tonight?
How should I know?
He was human.
You're gettin' reckless, Blade.
Killing vampires is clean.
They ash... don't leave any evidence behind.
Killing humans is messy.
You better hope nobody ID'd you.
This worked really good.
What's this?
A new delivery system for your serum.
It's an effervescent inhaler.
Just bite down on the mouth guard.
Delivery's automatic.
Some friends of mine made it.
Friends?
Yeah. You remember those?
It was horrible.
The one car crashed, and then the guy in the coat was shooting the other guy.
- It looked like there was a lot of blood. - Thank you.
That was just a taste of the mayhem that occurred
during tonight's brazen shootout
that left at least four people dead.
Now, apparently, an anonymous citizen
captured the whole event on video.
Hey, Ray. Hey, we got a lead.
Let's catch a plane, Wilson.
It's time to take these cowboys down.
That's what I'm talkin' about.
What's he been doing?
Fuck all. Just feeding.
Been through five of them so far.
Do you think we have enough security?
We didn't capture him. He allowed us to take him in.
You understand?
I'm gonna go in.
You shouldn't have woken me.
We had to.
Your blood, your sacrament, can set us free now.
What makes you think I care?
Your people need you.
My people?
You're nothing but shadows of your former selves.
Look how far you have fallen.
The world's changed since your time.
The humans have a new hunter.
Blade.
And you'd like me to kill him, wouldn't you?
Yes.
Subject is heading west.
Got him.
Congratulations. You're famous.
Somebody nailed us.
Your face is all over the papers and television.
Media's eatin' it up.
- Like I care. - Well, you should.
Something like this... taking out a human...
as far as the rest of the world is concerned,
you're public enemy number one.
Didn't know this was a popularity contest.
Damn it, Blade. Don't you see what they're doing?
They're waging a goddamn P.R. campaign.
Now it's not just vampires we gotta worry about,
we're gonna have to take on the rest of the world, too.
You worry too much, old man.
That's why we're still alive, goddamn it.
I've been doing this since before you were born, Blade.
You're like a son to me.
I'm sorry I got old on ya.
I see you alone, surrounded by enemies.
And it breaks my heart.
We can't win this war alone.
Look, he just gave me the evil eye. Come on, man.
What about that guy?!
Bro and prostitute, baby.
So what?
Quit fucking around.
I'm hungry, and I want to eat somebody.
How about him?
No fatties. They taste like Cheetos.
No, I like him.
Wait... what about that? Shrunken apple-headed bitch.
They fucking saw us over there.
Fucking blow me, man! Just pick one already. Jesus Christ!
Oh, got it! Got it!
Baby on board.
Oh! Looks like we got ourselves a combo meal!
Chicky, chicky, chicky, chicky, chicky!
Oh, yeah, baby!
What's for dinner?
Aah!
Hey, pretty lady.
No! No!
No!
Scream if this hurts, chica.
Aah!
Fuck you?
Aah!
Garlic!
Scream if this hurts, chica.
Aah!
What is it?
What you were worried about.
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Shoot to kill!
Aah!
Move a finger and you're dead.
How's about this one?
He's got something in his hand!
Get out, Blade!
Shit!
What's going on in there?
Somebody talk to me!
Aah!
Hold it right there!
Don't shoot, don't shoot.
Rise and shine, sleepyhead.
Special Agents Ray Cumberland, Wilson Hale, FBI.
- We've been tracking you a long time. - Mm-hmm.
Whistler.
Dead.
Just like all your victims.
Say, how many people have you killed, Blade?
Thirty? Forty? Fifty?
1,182.
But they were all familiars.
People who work with them.
Oh. And by "them," you mean vampires, right?
Say, so how do you kill these bloodsuckers, tough guy?
Maybe you could give us a few pointers. You can stake 'em, right?
What about sunlight? I mean, they ain't feelin' sunlight, right?
What about crosses?
Do they still work, Wilson, in this day and age?
I don't know, Ray. I mean, what if mister homey vampire is, like, Jewish?
That's a good point.
What about garlic? Does that work on Hindu vampires?
Or do you need, like, saffron or some shit?
- That was quick. - Thank you.
You can keep doing your song and dance as long as you want, Blade.
It's not gonna play.
We know what you are.
You're a stone-cold killer.
And you're sick as fuck.
Let's leave the diagnosis to the professionals.
Hello, Blade.
My name is Dr. Vance.
I've been charged with giving you a psychiatric evaluation.
Gentlemen, would you mind giving us just a couple of minutes alone?
He's all yours.
I know you must find this very frightening...
...but I want you to know that I'm here to help.
And in order for me to do that,
I'm gonna have to ask you a couple of questions, okay?
You know, Blade... the darndest thing.
I was signing in at security, and, uh, couldn't remember the date.
Do you know what day it is?
How about the President? You know who that is.
Who's in the White House right now?
An asshole.
I think somebody here wants to talk about vampires.
Vampires.
For everyone else, it's kind of silly.
I had a set of wax teeth when I was seven years old.
It was fun.
I could be somebody else.
But I want to hear you talk about vampires.
What can you tell me about them?
They exist.
Are you one of them?
Sometimes... the scariest monster of all...
...is the one in the mirror.
Tell me about blood.
When you drink blood,
do you ever feel sexually aroused?
Just strikes me that this business of vampirism
has a very strong element of sexual confusion.
Nuzzling into someone's neck.
A nocturnal visit.
It promises a... delicious physical intimacy.
The very sweet taste of saliva...
mixed with skin.
Sounds good to me.
Where's it come from?
That's what I wanna know.
And I'm starting to wonder what your relationship with your mother was like.
Were the two of you very close?
He's psychotic.
No shit.
For his safety and for the public's,
I'm recommending that he be transferred immediately to County Psychiatric...
Fuck that! That man is my prisoner.
He's wanted in connection with a laundry list of federal crimes.
Hold on, gentlemen. We're in my jurisdiction now.
You got a problem with that, you talk to the local magistrate.
- That man is my prisoner! - The call has already been made.
Don't fuck with my thing!
There's a team from the hospital effecting the transfer immediately.
You're supposed to be working with us on this, Chief.
Not this time.
This is just a little something to keep you compliant.
The usual dose for this sort of thing is two, three hundred milligrams,
but I think with a big, strapping hybrid like yourself,
I'll kick it up to a couple thousand.
You don't have a problem with needles, do ya?
There.
That wasn't so bad, was it?
Ooh, you're weak.
In need of your serum.
That must be a bad feeling.
I mean, who would've imagined
that a mere human like me could overpower you.
You're one of them.
A familiar.
Going on five years now.
It's the endgame, Blade.
All their plans are coming to fruition.
Why don't you just sit back and enjoy the show?
I hate familiars.
It's why we're still alive, goddamn it.
You're like a son to me.
Sorry I got old on ya.
I see you alone, surrounded by enemies.
It breaks my heart.
Hi, Blade.
So glad to finally meet you.
I am such a fan.
I like your tattoos.
Do they mean anything?
Stupid.
Are you okay?
Are you tired?
You're weak.
We moved the humans around.
Like pawns.
We used them...
...to flush you out.
You're not so big.
You're all alone, Blade.
No one's gonna help you now.
- Evening, ladies. - Hannibal King!
Wake up, Blade. This is your rescue.
Go!
Freeze!
Whistler!
This way!
Blade!
You're dead!
Get down!
Blade.
Hey, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Where are you going?
Where the fuck is he going?
This is supposed to be a rescue!
Get back, get back!
We're pinned down.
I can't shoot around corners.
I can.
Aah!
Okay. We're fucked.
We're fine.